Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A dark place

Somewhere out there is a place better than this.

Bright sun shining warmth down on the faces

of a family with all the radiance and love of God and the universe.

This pain does not exist, only hope and the joy of anticipation of all the wonderful days ahead.

Happiness, true happiness without the worry

Fear

Or constant nagging anxiety over each and every detail of life.

How did I get to this place?

Ever so slowly I feel my optimism fading away into a sea of nothingness

Covered by dark storm clouds

It’s days like this when I wonder how many people I’m fooling

With my smiles and the perfectly painted face that all is right but really its

Not

Money can’t buy happiness but it can pay the bills, put food on the table and provide luxuries that most people call necessities

Somewhere out there is the answer to this mess and the key

The key that turns the lock and gets us out of this depression and into a happier life

A more peaceful life

Perhaps that key is God, but I feel like I’ve lost my way, like a lost child crying out for her mother who is no where around

Or maybe her father is standing right behind her and all she has to do is turn around and look up.

Perhaps all along she’s just looking for the wrong thing.

 

Poetry was my outlet as a teenager, dealing with depression that came after my mother abandoned my family. This is my first poem in years, and it reminds me of why I loved poetry years ago. It’s a way to get my feelings out in a form that I don’t think has to make sense to anybody but me, but when it does, it’s all the better.

1 comment:

Anne K. said...

Wonderful poetry! Keep writing!

God is there with you Amber. Sometimes, I find that instead of seeking happiness for later today, tomorrow, next week or the rest of my life, I just need to turn to God to find peace for right now. Sometimes right now, this very moment is all I can manage and I think that's okay because that's all any of us really have anyway. Let God hold you right now, just for this moment. *hugs*